|
|
Like Candy Laced with Cyanide
|
|
|
| One day I hope to.. |
[20 Nov 2009|12:28am] |
..Buy Land. With enough people, we could all afford it.
I was thinking about it last night.. and the way our society is built practically suffocates our lives. Look at apartments for example. boxes upon boxes, set in bigger boxes so that people can be right next to each other but, remain distant.
People in this society live in cages.
They go out to be social in different places but, never quite leave their cage. because they're thinking about going back to their box, sleeping one off, and going to work to pay for their box. Continuously. Over and over again.
There's a quote I really like that explains this way of living.
Something like.. take the car to work all day to pay for the car and the house in which you never stay.
Jakk and I were talking about this..Wouldn't it be great to buy some land..
like 50 acres, and eventually more.
Where we could invite our friends to live, open it to squatters, and all make our own houses. Plant our own food. We'll escape the boxes, build our community in a circle around a big fire pit, and do what every hippie peace activist wanted to do in the 70's.
Except we govern ourselves. and we're not fucking hippies.
It sounds so rehashed. But It's still a great idea. Every person seeks personal freedom, right? Well the only way we'll ever accomplish that is if we take our lives into our own hands.
|
|
| A short Love Story. |
[19 Nov 2009|10:02pm] |
I was laying in Bed with Jakk when she woke Me up, crying and saying she had a nightmare.
In which I was shot, and she couldn't save me.
In a zombie state I got out of bed, took a piss, and made a sandwhich.
I layed back down, and Jakk was still crying.
And instead of comforting her, what did I do?
I mumbled,
"Ew, I'm covered in tears."
We laugh about it now.
But wow, I'm an asshole XD
|
|
| Thus ends.. |
[19 Nov 2009|09:29pm] |
..my shitty poetry read.
Hope you all enjoyed yourselves got aids.
|
|
| Pretentious Shit Poem |
[19 Nov 2009|09:25pm] |
|
Toaster ahstrays and crumpled cigarettes.
Chainsmoking the earth, the lot of it.
We live like we die and don't give a shit of it.
Because in the end we'll all burn like sticks,
So drink till you swill the lot of it.
We'll watch all our backs and pull out the knives that won't stick.
But will stick again. And again. And again. And again.
And we'll sing.
Gum is a drug.
my tongue is too numb to taste anymore.
The beer tastes like liquor, and grass is just another cigar.
We take the pills to sleep but start trippin' again.
So a day is a day and a night again. And again. And again. And again.
|
|
| We must all be pigs.. |
[19 Nov 2009|09:13pm] |
We're dirty, and sick.
All stuck in a rut.
But, I say we're squirrels.
Resourceful, and quick,
Just looking for love,
and the next nut.
|
|
| 6 feet over |
[19 Nov 2009|09:07pm] |
There is a girl standing on the corner.
She smells of prostitution, and
sells funeral flowers.
I stand with her and make the days meet.
We rob from the dead, so that we can eat.
|
|
| donating my life |
[12 Nov 2009|07:49pm] |
So today at the plasma office they told me my blood test came back with abnormal results.
So they had to take two tubes of blood to be tested at the big lab.
Which means I'm not able to donate for 2-4 weeks. Sucks because I'm relying on that money right now. And I'm getting food stamps. But I can't use them more than 3 months in 3 years because I have no doctor papers stating current disorders and can't afford a doctor.
I was pissed. In the waiting room, which was packed, I told my friends the situation.
I then exclaimed "FUCK they're probably going to tell me I have AIDs or something!"
I've never seen so many people shift in their seats uncomfortably at the word "AIDs"
haha.
Well, I came over to Jakk's tonight and checked my email signing up for Medical Research for some cash, and like he must have known, WhiteLarry sent me money!
Wow! Thank you so much Larry. You've saved my ass on this one. And I'd like to find some way to repay you.
On another note.. the Recession sucks! Let's riot and reclaim the streets.
|
|
|
[03 Nov 2009|12:38am] |
jakk played a staring contest.
She went on staring at me for 30 min. but when she lost got pissed at me.
what a bitch.
|
|
| butler plaza 2009 |
[02 Nov 2009|11:56pm] |
Intense perfumes consume this block
like a cheap whore.
Not a penny to be made.
Not for creativity,
not for anyone
anymore.
Recession means nothing.
Cell phones rule all.
Progression stunted.
The Hell is the home.
|
|
|
[29 Oct 2009|08:28pm] |
I need a cheap, reliable source of flavoured sugar. :3
Can anyone say,
Cheap abundance of after-Halloween candy?
Fuck yes.
|
|
| [hollow shell trembles] |
[29 Oct 2009|04:33am] |
I now have..
..Identification!
I was worried that I wouldn't get an id being homeless, let alone not having a birthC or SSID.
But, it went well. I used my old key largo address, and they accepted it. It cost 25$ which is a lot of money to me right now. Especially for an ID.
But now that I have one, I'm applying to donate plasma tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be accepted. that'll be at least 40$ a week. And I'm going to get foodstamps.
I need to find some other source of income.
Society hates Me. I can never hold a Gov job.
Right I just want to play music. Live on the road and play shows wherever I go with friends I hold close.
Sadly, the guitar needs new strings.
It's almost painful having it, and not being able to play
And as far as socializing with people.. Fuck it.
I want to scream.
Perhaps I'll use that to my advantage.
Afterall, I suck at playing music.
|
|
| Lol |
[26 Oct 2009|03:57pm] |
drink coke or we'll gas you
|
|
| Wayward Council, GainesVILE |
[21 Oct 2009|08:06am] |
http://www.myspace.com/waywardcouncil
The information/pictures on the net don't do this place justice.
I found a place called wayward yesterday. It's a non-profit punk ska what-have-you record store which carries underground/ hard to find records, cds, cassette, and DIY CDs.
They also hold shows booked on request.
When I found it..
I walk up to the window covered with flyers, with a sign reading "Don't drink alcohol outside".
Intrigued, I walked in to discover a beautifully chaotic atmosphere of paint, vinyl, tattered flyers, and expression at every corner. The air smells vaguely of coffee, cigarettes, and incense. People with gnatty hair, clothes held together after years of abuse by patches, don't walk stiffly, or wear duh faces of bored entrapment. But people comfortable where they are, lounging on old couches, and stools, labeling albums, making flyers, and shooting the shit.
I browsed the record bins to discover more new bands then I've ever seen in my life. Real bands. Music with heart.
I introduce myself, and notice there's free coffee.
I fucking love coffee. Especially when it's free. And I love my coffee black. And this coffee was BLACK. Score.
There's also free condoms (be safe kids!), shirts for sale, and DIY patches as well.
I use the restroom, and a sign makes me smile,
"If you're just peein' don't flush (Unless it's a MASSIVE PISS)"
And a sign explaining that drinking is okay there but not outside (i.e. the sidewalk). It presents a bad image, and is against city ordinance. Remember, we are no "The Man" buddy. Something like that.
I smoke outside and idly chitchat. Talkign about where I've been, what I'm doing now. The formalities I've come to know so well.
Usually this kind of chitchat, I despise. But everyone is really nice. And not just nice but, I've stumbled upon some of the most interesting, expressive people in Gainesville.
I look forward to seeing more of this place. It's brought hope to Gainesville for Me.
And here I thought I was all alone here in this college town.
I'm going to Volunteer. :]
|
|
| like looking through a fogged mirror |
[10 Oct 2009|01:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
skabdriver - poison |
] |
I've left my existence to grasp the power of my existence. day breaks. night falls.
But only I, this sentient being only vaguely aware of itself, can piece time together again.
Update.
Being poor sucks only in certain circumstance. Such as emergencies.
I feel fine. though we didn't go to the club.
The club is not an emergency. just an opportunity.
Another on a pile of others I let wash by me everyday.
If I had an I.D. things would be a hell of a lot easier.
I'd sell my lifeforce. sell my bodily fluids.
I'd go to clubs w/o worrying about finding someone to sneak me in.
funny thought though.
I feel bad for whomever stole my wallet. because they didn't get shit from it.
Just a bunch of empty bank cards, and the networking cards of clubkids from across the country.
So I will be on the road soon.
Jakk's mum (whom we're staying with) wants more money starting Oct. 25th
or she says we're out. she told her daughter she doesn't care if she's homeless or not.
Jakk has a job, and has been giving her money, paying for groceries, and doing chores.
Still, she isn't happy.
Well, I knew we'd be gone soon. I'm surprised it lasted so long.
Jakk's father is coming over to visit next weekend. So that means I can't stay here during that time.
I'll be camping out somewhere in a park. It'll be fun.
My only worry is getting stopped by the cops and not having ID. Because they take you in for that, you know.
which is bullshit.
It seems I have to prove who I am everytime I want to enter a building, or use a public restroom.
It'll be tough to travel with Jakk because it's easier to find a place to stay with 2 people, as opposed to one. But, it's very lonely.
I figure we'll camp out and make our way to the keys. Where I have friends. Some I consider family. Some I miss badly.
We'll figure it out as we go. Like I always do.
I want to go see jake again. Possibly live with him.
I want to see GA, and NC again. I want to meet trey. like, actually meet him, and not just be in the same place this time. I want to see Jaden again. on better terms this time. And a lot of other people that have passed in and out of my life. Or was it I that had wandered through theirs? hm.
I'm turning 22. SHHH!
yeah, crazy. the age my parents birthed me into this world.
I couldn't imagine having a child now. I'd hate myself for having a kid.
Well, I am asking for money for my birthday to anyone who asks.
I could use it now.
All my life, I've not asked for presents. I would usually get a book, my mother would make me a funny cake but, I detested the attention of birthdays.
Birthdays should celebrate the mother who brought you into this world, or the ones that took care of you.
Attention.. I want that the other 364 days out of the year!
|
|
|
[07 Oct 2009|09:33pm] |
I'm loosing touch.
Everyone is connected now in this modern age. With cell phones with which they relay their latest mistakes, and show off their painted faces. With tampons that check the weather, and ass-scrubbing robots that say "hi" to their friends for them.
And here I am, kicking it oldschool. All landlines, and the same crimes used in the 90's.
I'm broke as fuck, and can't get a job for more reasons than one. Changing anything about myself wouldn't help. I'd feel shittier then be told the world's wealth is depleted. Economic recession, they say. More like a lack of interest in anything valuable. Who needs real conversation and long walks when you can text while driving 200 mph along empty sidewalks, knocking old fashioned kids like me down?
Everyone is hyper-connected. To me, it seems so shallow.
Everyone's digested tomorrow's news, And I'm still in the shadows.
|
|
| 'zup zigg? |
[07 Oct 2009|09:17pm] |
have internet now ^_^
So all of the pics and videos may be uploadeddd.
Gainesville is a college town. which means FOOTBALL town.
I'm now calling it gainesVILE.
I'll be at ascension fo the "release the bats" event if anyone lives around here.
Jakk and I looked a mess today. Yesterday I just slaped on some red and black makeup. So this morning we were both wearing tshirts with patches on them, black pants, frizzed gnatty hair, and had red and black smeared alll over our faces. ha!
noone said a word about it XD
Recently, we have developed a raging pokemon addiction! Of course, we've always been pokedorks xD
Only now, I've downloaded the new sapphire, ruby, and platinum additions :D:D:D
My new team is Absol, sabereye, and blaziken. I kick so much ass. mhmm.
Other than that, I haven't been drinking. Woot. Alcohol has lost it's appeal now.
And not living in the fucking boondocks also might have something to do with it.
Well places I want to go.. rather REvisit
Tampa.. youngstown, OH.. NC/SC.. the keys..
Unfortunately I don't have moniez and life as a freak is harder these days.
well..
keep me posted. let me know you're alive.
love grease and HIV
|
|
|
[19 Sep 2009|01:39am] |
Updates are difficult as I am limited internet access.
I made GenderBlend banners. One's on my space profile.
Florida's great. Just wish I had a job. Some income would be nice.
having internet access could aid in that department but for now, It's like talking through a drivethru window.
things will improve.
I wish there were some deathrock kids around here :P
|
|
| floh-dah |
[08 Sep 2009|10:34pm] |
I am now in Florida with jakkkkkkk ^_^
Same about the pictures and video ^_^
I miss jake but, I'm really happy for him.
We're both trying to get things stabalized right now.
You know, school, living arrangments, the woiks.
^_^
<333
|
|
|
[27 Aug 2009|09:53pm] |
RAZORRRRBLADEEEJAKKEEE and I are together :D
pictures, video, and general mayhem will ensue :]]]]
<33333
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
zigg_crow's journal